Funny Moments in Guangzhou

Life in Guangzhou is certainly not without its quirks, but instead of focusing on my frustrations about living in a new country and the challenges its culture brings, I’ve decided to write down the funny stories that happen on a daily basis within our home. Here are my stories!

Asian Snacks:

So I was in the grocery store yesterday picking up a few things and I decided to get some dried fruit.....trying to snack healthy. Today, I ripped open the bag of what I thought was dried mango.....turns out to dried yam. Yup. I thought it would be disappointing, but it is shockingly tasty. Asia is wearing down my taste buds.....

Midnight Concussions:

Glenn and I have a King-sized bed and even with all the extra room we've acquired, he still sleeps right next to me and my pillows.....not in the middle, mind you.....closer to my edge of the bed (his story will be different....you should believe mine) . Anyway, I was dreaming and I had my hands up above my head.....as I am bringing them back down under the covers, I sock Glenn in the eye with my elbow. Startled awake by a rather loud, "Yeeow!" I tried to comfort him, but I somehow managed to poke him in the eye instead, which only encouraged another series of cries.

"What are you doing?! I'm going to have a black eye!" Was his exasperated response.
"I'm sorry. I was dreaming."
"What were you dreaming about?"
Silence....and stiffled snickering.
"What were you dreaming about?!"
"Putting my arms down."

I know. It takes an unusually cruel wife to laugh at her husband's pain....but in my defense, our room was REALLY dark....and what's he doing sticking his eye so close to my elbow anyway!

Shave and a Haircut:

Has your husband ever asked you to trim the hair on back of his neck? Mine does…repeatedly!! And the funny thing is, he trusts me EVERY time. Unfortunately, for him, my job descriptions do not include “Hair Designer”. Instead, I come equipped with the following assets:

Early Childhood Educator & Nurturer
Culinary Artist
Interior Decorator
Household Manager & Maintenance Personnel
Financial Manager
"Budgeteer"

...And so the list continues on with a variety of other feats, which do not include hair dressing. So…it should not have come as any great surprise that the following dialogue took place…and if you’ve ever seen that episode of Mr. Bean at the Barbers…you’d understand Glenn's dilemma.

“Oops!”
“Oops???! What do you mean ‘oops’?” his panic-strickened voice resonated throughout the room.
“It’s okay…I’ll just even it up!” I reassured him.
Meanwhile, my "steady hand" began to falter as my whole body convulsed under waves of stiffled laughter.
“There…no one should be able to tell. What do you think?” (snicker, snicker)
“If I could see back there, I’d tell you.” Came the sarcastic reply.

So let this be a lesson to all you men-folk, out there. If you want your hair trimmed…ask a professional.

"Curry"

Glenn and I were in a taxi on our way to METRO, a German company similar to Costco. I noticed that I had curry sauce on the back of my hand.

“Better get rid of it,” I thought, getting my tongue ready.....but as I was in mid-lick, I suddenly realized something.

“Wait a minute! I didn’t have CURRY for supper! What IS that?!”

FLASH BACK
Setting: Bathroom

Part of Angelica’s bedtime routine includes a bath every evening before bed. Just as I was lifting her out of the water and about to dry her off on her towel…she decides it’s time to “go”. And so she does what babies do best – she poops on her nice, white towel, but fortunately “misses” mommy. Right. So…into the bath water she goes again…and into the bath water my hands are dunked…but I must have missed a spot.

Moral: When you think your hands have been scrubbed and rinsed clean – wash them again and CHECK THOROUGHLY! Or you may end up “licking” something that you should not be licking in the first place! Bleh!

Okay, that's all the silly moments I have for today. This batch of silliness was brought to you by the letter "K".

All joking aside, I have an unusual craving for rice and kimchi......I must be missing Korea!